Parents - Don't Be Afraid to Parent!

Recently a mother and I were discussing her teenage daughter’s poor behavior and attitude, which was correlated to her use of TikTok and her unfettered access to the internet. The mother said with a sigh of resignation, “It’s just so sad that teens are so addicted to their phones…but what can you do?”

What can you do? You can be a parent! Yes, I know the peer pressure is tremendous to allow your kids a phone or device with endless free access to all the worst humanity has to offer (aka social media) – but as a parent your job is to form your children to be saints. Their souls are in your hands. We must be that first line of defense against the filth of the world. We would never allow them to go spend time with a pornographer; if we knew they were being bullied we would try to protect them; if something were harming their health we would spare no expense to rush them to the doctor. Then why are we allowing them a window into the cesspool of porn, hatred, time-wasting filth without any guidance? Study after study has shown the negative effects of the internet in general – and social media in particular – but still we turn a blind eye and wonder why our teenage sons and daughters struggle with identity crises, depression, self-hatred, addictions, aberrant behavior, laziness, a lack of desire for holiness!

Parents, do not abdicate your authority and your responsibility! At the end of your lives, the Lord will ask you how well you shepherded these souls He entrusted to you – whether or not you led them to Heaven and preserved their souls from sin to the best of your ability. We cannot use “oh, well everyone else’s kids have one, so my kid would be strange if they didn’t” as an excuse!

Will your kids be angry with you, maybe even say they hate you, if you put restrictions on their devices? Possibly. But their anger will be temporary – their gratitude will be eternal. Recently another friend who travels the country speaking about the dangers of social media was telling me that after her talk, she would always have many, many young adults come up to her with one of two reactions: “At the time I was furious with my parents for taking away my phone, but now I’m grateful.” OR “I really wish my parents had protected me from losing so much innocence.” No one has ever been grateful that their parents were so permissive!

So what can be done? First, do not give teens (or younger!) phones with internet or apps. There are plenty of dumb phones still in existence! If you must give them phones that access the internet, put parental restrictions on them. Install Covenant Eyes on your son’s phones – and on your home computers while you’re at it (almost every Confession I hear involves pornography, which is mortally sinful and perverts your son’s ability to view women as anything other than objects, which will have huge ramifications on his future relationships). Do not allow them to use their screens at meals or while alone in their bedrooms. Get the support of other families who have the same policies. Most importantly – do not try to be your kid’s friend, but be their parent. Authentic love requires boundaries, discipline, and sacrifice.

Your kid’s eternal welfare is worth it – do not say, “Alas, I can’t do anything – my kid needs to fit in.” It’s better to stand out here on earth because we are trying to fit into the Communion of Saints!

Homily for Ordinary Time 13 - June 26, 2022

 

Homily for Ordinary Time 13

June 26, 2022

Fan or Follower?

 

            My Confirmation name is Peter, but I almost chose Michael. Not because I have any great love for St. Michael the Archangel – no, I was a huge fan of the Baltimore Orioles pitcher Mike Mussina. I had all of his baseball cards, I read everything I could get my hands on about him, and I even tried to mimic his style when I pitched in high school. One could say that I was a pretty big fan of the guy.

            But some people take fandom to a whole other level. I think of the Deadheads who used to follow around the band “The Grateful Dead” – they gave up careers, family, and decent living conditions to be groupies of their favorite band. In fact, one of Jerry Garcia’s biographers wrote that for the Deadheads, “Music was their sacrament.” Or those Green Bay Packers fans who are willing to sit in sub-zero temperatures for hours to watch their team. Or the collector who spent over $115,000 to purchase a lock of Elvis’ hair – that’s commitment!

            That’s the major difference between being a casual fan and a committed follower –are they willing to sacrifice everything for the one they follow?

            Jesus invites several people to follow him, but they make excuses – “Let me go and say goodbye to my parents…let me go and bury my father.” Those sound like good reasons, but it shows that Jesus Christ is not the number-one priority for them. They perhaps liked His message and His miracles, but weren’t ready to make the commitment to Him.

            So what about us? Are we casual fans or committed followers? Are we willing to embrace the demands of the Gospel, which are all-encompassing? That means that Christ is King of more than just our Sunday mornings: it means our vacations…our nights out with the boys…our internet browsing…our marriages…our shopping habits…even our thoughts. The call to seek holiness must permeate every single aspect of our lives, without exception.

            Some might say that’s extreme. A priest was telling me a humorous story that when he was in Italy, he got into a conversation with a man on a bus. The priest asked him, “Are you Catholic?” The man replied, “Si, certo! (Yes, of course!)” The priest then replied, “Wonderful. Where do you attend Mass?” The man replied, “Ah, padre, sono Catolico…non sono fanatico (Father, I’m a Catholic, not a fanatic!)” It seems radical to be an actual follower of Jesus, and not just a Catholic in name-only, but Jesus makes it clear that He expects us to live for Him alone!

            People often tell me, “My faith is very important to me.” By that, they mean that they like the rituals and sentiments of faith: lighting a candle, singing “Silent Night” at Christmas, ashes on our foreheads, a quick “Hail Mary” before a basketball game. Nothing wrong with comforting rituals and warm memories.

            But that’s all just window-dressing without the heart of faith: a real encounter with the Person of Jesus Christ who asks us to follow Him. To be a follower of Jesus demands something of us – it requires us to forsake our former way of life, to live for Him alone, and to put every last aspect of our life under His Kingship. It requires us to develop a prayer life, to forgive our enemies, to take up our Cross and die to ourselves daily. If we want to live our lives-as-usual with just a little prayer sprinkled on top, then we are missing the very heart of our Catholic Faith. Our Catholic Faith is a grand adventure, an epic quest for holiness, a battle for the eternal salvation of souls that demands a life of sacrifice, integrity, and a life lived for Jesus Christ. Don’t settle for just warm, fuzzy feelings…for being a “fan” of Jesus Christ…when He invites you to follow Him to the Cross…and the Resurrection. After He lived, and died, for us – how can we do any less than live and die for Him?

            I ask you to consider today: what aspect of your life is still yours, and not His? What part of your life have you not yet put under His Kingship? Make a resolution to live completely for Him, and ask Him for the grace to carry it out!

            In all, I’m very glad that I didn’t pick Michael as my Confirmation saint, because the following year, Mike Mussina signed with the dreaded New York Yankees and I stopped being a fan of his entirely…but that was the same year that I also stopped being a fan of Jesus Christ, and started becoming His follower.

Homily for Trinity Sunday - June 12, 2022

 

Homily for Trinity Sunday

June 12, 2022

Sign of the Cross

 

            Let us begin in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. As Catholics we pray that brief prayer multiple times each day. Why do we pray the Sign of the Cross, and what’s it all about?

            First, consider how we make the Sign of the Cross. In the Western Church, we use an open hand – which is used in blessing (hence we say that we “bless ourselves”). In the East, they hold three fingers together, as a sign of the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), while the other two fingers are united as a sign of Christ’s Divinity and humanity.

            The words we say confess the mystery of the Trinity. Notice that we say, “In the Name of the Father…” and not “In the Names of the Father” – God is one, so we say He only has one Name – and then we go on to name the Three Persons of the Trinity. Every time we begin a prayer, we recognize that the very core of our faith is that we believe in a God Who is One-in-Three: both unity and trinity.

            As we say that confession of faith in the Trinity, we seal the sign of the Cross on ourselves. You are marking, publicly, who you are and Who you belong to! The Cross is our ransom, our “price-tag” if you will, so we remind ourselves that we have been purchased by the Cross. So when Satan comes to tempt us, we make the sign of the Cross to show him that we are already marked!

            There is an amazing story in the book of Ezekiel, where an angel comes to Ezekiel and tells him that God is going to chastise all of Israel for its unfaithfulness – but there are still some good people left in Jerusalem, so the angel goes around and puts a mark on the foreheads of those who are still faithful to God. The mark he makes is the “Tau” – the last letter of the Hebrew alphabet, and it is drawn exactly like a cross! God has mercy on those marked with the Tau, and strikes down those without it.

            In the same way, those of us who are signed with the Cross will be preserved from the justice of God, and will receive His mercy instead. In ancient Egypt, God had the Israelites put the lamb’s blood over their doors at Passover so that they would be saved from the angel of death. Now, by signing the Cross over our bodies, we invoke the Blood of the Lamb upon us, so that we are saved from the power of death!

            But where do we put that Sign of the Cross? We put it on our forehead, our heart, and our shoulders. Why? Because we are put here on this earth to know, love, and serve God, so we ask that Christ be king of our minds, our heart (our desires and loves), and our actions. Every aspect of our life is put under the sign of our cross, that we may know, love, and serve Him.

            The Sign of the Cross is an incredibly powerful prayer. Often it’s used as the preamble to a prayer, but it has immense power in its own right. During the persecutions of the early church, some pagans tried to kill St. John the Apostle because his preaching was turning many people away from pagan gods to embrace Christianity. The pagans invited John over for dinner, and poisoned his cup. But before he began the meal, John prayed grace and made the Sign of the Cross over his cup. Instantly a snake crawled out of the cup, and John was able to escape unharmed.

            Listen to the words of St. John Vianney: “The sign of the cross is the most terrible weapon against the devil. Thus the Church wishes not only, that we have it continually in front of our minds, to recall to us just what our souls are worth and what they cost Jesus Christ, but also that we should make it at every juncture ourselves: when we go to bed, when we awaken during the night, when we get up, when we begin any action, and, above all, when we are tempted.”

            The Sign of the Cross is one of the most powerful prayers we have – it invokes the Trinity, seals us with the Blood of the Cross, puts to flight the Evil One, and reminds us who we are. Let us make that Sign carefully with devotion, and let us make it frequently throughout the day. It is the outward sign of who we are.

            In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Pentecost Homily - June 5, 2022

 

Pentecost Homily

June 5, 2022

The Movement of the Spirit

 

            How do you know that you are filled with the Holy Spirit? The Spirit is described as a “mighty rushing wind” at Pentecost, which is a fitting description – we can’t see wind, but we can see some very clear effects of wind like blowing leaves or wind chimes. Likewise, we cannot always “feel” the Holy Spirit, but we can clearly see its effects in our life. So how do we know that we have the Holy Spirit?

            One sign of the Holy Spirit is that you are enthusiastic about the Faith. The word “enthusiasm” comes from two Greek words, “en theos” – meaning to be possessed by a god. If you feel enthusiasm about prayer, or for learning about the Faith, this is the work of the Holy Spirit in your life. One time I was at a party with a group of wonderful families, when their second-grade son asked me, “Can you tell me a saint story?” I said sure, but before I could begin, he went running through the house telling all the other kids, “Come hear a saint story! Come hear a saint story!” Before long, he had gathered ten kids, all of whom sat on the staircase as I stood at the bottom, telling them the stories of the saints. That hunger for the Lord – that’s a sign of the Holy Spirit within them!

            Another sign of the Holy Spirit is being inspired to do good works. Again, the word “inspired” means “breathed into” – as the Holy Spirit is often called the “breath of God” (in Hebrew the same word, “ru’ah”, means breath, spirit, and wind). If we have an inspiration to donate something to the poor, or make a sacrifice for another, or to do something for God – these inspirations are lights of the Holy Spirit active in your life.

            A third way is that we are led into deep prayer by the Holy Spirit. Have you ever gone to pray and thought, “Oh man, prayer is hard! Lord, help me to pray!” St. Paul tells us that “we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit intercedes for us” – it is the Holy Spirit that connects us to God and makes prayer fruitful. I remember walking out of Eucharistic Adoration one time in college, and my friend turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, “Don’t you just love God!” She had clearly been touched by the Holy Spirit during that time of Adoration!

            A fourth way we know we have the Spirit is that we demonstrate the “fruits of the Spirit” which St. Paul lists in the Book of Galatians. Fruits of the Spirit are such things as love, joy, peace, patient endurance, chastity, suffering patiently, kindness…these are signs of the Holy Spirit living in you. The person who can smile despite the chronic painful condition; the person who is extraordinarily kind to the rude neighbor; the person who makes sacrifices to grow in self-control…these people are led by the Spirit!

            A fifth way that the Spirit is active is in our desire to share the Faith. Have you ever gotten into a conversation with someone about Jesus? Has anyone asked you questions about your Catholic Faith? It is often the Holy Spirit working in them to ask, and the Holy Spirit working in you to answer!

            A final way we know that we have the Holy Spirit is that we use our charisms for the building up of the Kingdom of God. Charisms are more than natural talents – they are the specific gifts and passions that God has given YOU to help lead souls to Christ. Charisms can include things like teaching, music, writing, hospitality, counseling others, working with the poor, a passion for praying for others – and so many more. If you are serious about following the Lord, He will give you a charism – a gift or passion which will be used to bring souls to Him. What’s your charism and how have you used it?

            For example, I have a close friend who has the charism of hospitality – she has a true gift for helping people connect over food and kindness. She used to gather a collection of fervent disciples to her house for a meal and a time of prayer. Over the course of several months of prayer and getting to know one another, we felt the Spirit leading us to begin some powerful events that we called Nights of Unity, which were basically like old-fashioned tent revivals with preaching, prayer, and powerful music. It ended up being incredibly powerful – hundreds of people came and encountered Christ through these night retreats. But these would never have happened if my friend didn’t use her charism of hospitality to gather and connect people over food – seemingly a small thing, but it was huge in building the Kingdom of God! Your charisms will have the same impact if we yield to the Holy Spirit.

            So these are some ways in which we know we possess the Holy Spirit and see His action in our lives. But the good news is that we can always ask for an increase in the Spirit’s presence in our life. The Spirit desires to live through you – let us ask and invoke the Holy Spirit more and more. A great way to do that is the classic “Holy Spirit Prayer” – if you know it, please join me in praying it.

            Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of the faithful, and enkindle in us the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and we shall be created, and You shall renew the face of the earth.

            Let us pray. O God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that we may be truly wise and ever to rejoice in His consolation, through the same Christ our Lord, Amen.

Graduation Homily 2022

 

CKA Graduation Homily 2022

You Can’t Do This

 

            This is the time of year when you will receive cards and plaques from well-meaning family and friends that have slogans that look like they were pulled from cheesy motivational posters. Slogans like, “You can do it!” “You can do anything you put your mind to!” “You can go out and change the world!”

            So, I’m here to tell you the truth, and the truth is this: you CAN’T do it. You’re not smart enough. You’re not talented enough. You CAN’T change the world…on your own.

            Look, don’t get me wrong, you guys are great. But the challenges you will face in high school or college are going to eat you alive. The world’s problems are WAY bigger than you…but they’re not bigger than God.

            And here’s what we’ve got to remember – without God, we’re nothing. But with God, we can do all things.

            Consider the heroes of the Scriptures. Moses meets God in a burning bush, and He tells him that he needs to go up to Pharaoh and tell him to let his people go – and by the way, Moses is a murderer who stutters. Not exactly the best or the brightest. So Moses objects – but does God say, “Oh, Moses, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve got this! You can do it!” No, He doesn’t…rather, He says: “I am with you. Do not be afraid.” Or when Gideon is given the mission to take 300 soldiers to fight an army of 150,000, and he begins to question God’s wisdom in giving him this mission, God doesn’t say to him, “Oh, don’t worry about those Midianites, just look at the strength of your army! Look at their commitment, their superior weapons, their courage!” No, God doesn’t say any of these things. He says instead, “Do not be afraid. I am with you.” God never focuses on the talents…or lack of talents…of the people He calls. In fact, He often calls people who were a mess – Peter, whose cowardice denied Jesus three times…Paul, who was a murderous zealot with a serious temper…John, who was too young…Matthew, who was a public sinner. He chooses these people, not because of their personal strengths, but because He can work powerfully in people who know they’re not strong, and who need to rely upon Him for everything.

            You will face a myriad of challenges in high school and college. Difficult classes, peer pressure, the temptation to give up your prayer life because it’s “just too hard”, the drama of friend-groups and relationships, living away from home for the first time, whatever other struggles might come your way. If you try to tackle these challenges with your own strength, relying on your own talents and gifts, you’re sure to fail. But with God, you can do all things.

            Jesus makes that clear in John’s Gospel. He says, “Without Me, you can do nothing.” Not “some things,” not “oh, I’ll help you out a bit”….without Him, we can do nothing. Take that to heart – and stay close to the Lord as if your life depended on it, because it does! It’s only through our intimate union with Him through the Sacraments, through daily prayer, through a life oriented towards Him, that we find our strength.

            So, as you prepare to receive all sorts of accolades and awards and congratulations, allow me to speak the sober truth: you can’t do it. You’re not good enough, you’re not strong enough. But He is – and He loves you, and He is with you – so do not be afraid.