The Grapes of Solitude

* Note - this is part of a blog that I wrote for the Archdiocese of Baltimore in 2007 *

            People often talk about the loneliness that’s associated with the priesthood. Well, I’ve got two thoughts on that.

            First, loneliness is a challenge and a reality, but we need to make a distinction between loneliness and solitude. Every time I encounter loneliness (being alone and longing for other human interaction) I try to transform it into solitude (being alone with the Lord). It’s really very simple because we are always in the presence of the Lord – a comforting thought when one is all alone.

            For me, the toughest time with loneliness is on Sunday afternoons. After the wonderful joy of greeting all of the parishioners at Sunday Masses, they all head home to spend the afternoon with their families. And we are left in the rectory all alone. It kind of makes me long to have a family, but then I remember Whose I am – and this is a deeper intimacy than I could ever find with a wife. There is something about sharing one’s entire self – body, soul, spirit - with the Lord that is even closer than man and wife, even at their most intimate union. I think it is because when a soul loves the Lord, they become so totally united that there aren’t two persons but we become, somehow, mystically immersed into the Trinity. Even in married love, though the two become “one flesh”, they still remain two persons. No husband can enter into the soul of his wife like Christ can enter into a Christian’s soul; principally through the Eucharist, and then in one’s private prayer.

            Sorry, folks, I know that sounded like some kind of doctoral dissertation. I didn’t mean it to be. But it’s so incredibly beautiful to be consecrated to the Lord – totally His – that I can’t stop myself when I think about the union that we share. Never perfectly, because of the weakness of His sinful creature, but a real union nonetheless. Awesome!

 

            My second thought on loneliness is this. They say that “the parishioners become a family for the priest and this is an even bigger family than any physical father could have.” That’s so totally true, and this week I’ve been blessed in so many ways to experience that.

            Okay, let’s start at the beginning of this story. We have wild Concord grapes growing on our campus here at St. John’s. I had seen them in the summer when they were still green, and after waiting several anxious months, they seemed to be ripe now at the end of September. No one else seemed inclined to do anything with these grapes, so I decided to take matters into my own hands and try to make my own wild grape juice.

            And yet a project like that would always be far more fun with help. So on Tuesday afternoon I recruited some of the fifth-graders that I teach in the school to help me make a mess…I mean, make grape juice. With four fifth-grade boys in tow, we picked baskets upon baskets of these wild grapes. Or, at least that was our aim. Many grapes were thrown at each other as the boys tried to have “Grape Wars”.

            After we had the bunches, we washed them, and then came the fun part: the squishing! We washed our hands and then just started squeezing the grapes in our hands to juice them (we opted for the hands method over using our feet to step on the grapes, like they do in Italy…we figured that for fifth-grade boys, their foot-hygiene might pose a health issue with these grapes). It took about fifteen messy minutes (as grape pulp got flung on the floor…and at each other) but by the end we had about a quart of grape juice. Then came the tasting! We gathered everyone from the religious education office to be the official taste-testers. They said that they liked it! When the boys themselves tasted it, they were also impressed with their efforts. Said one of them, “Wow, it’s not as disgusting as I imagined it would be.” A true complement, from a fifth-grade boy.

            So as I was reflecting upon this experience, this really felt like something that I would do with my little brother and sister. And these boys really began to feel like my little brothers! It was pretty cool to have little siblings in the Lord. It’s true that I have a bigger family than I could ever have imagined. The Lord has given me these kids as little brothers and sisters “on loan,” and I must be a good steward in setting a good example for them and bringing them closer to the One to whom they truly belong.

            It also helped that this evening I went to the fifth and sixth-graders’ soccer game at a local park. As I was cheering there on the benches with the parents, I reflected upon how I truly love these people – all of them, the old and the young, everyone. They are truly my family and though I’m not a “Father” yet, I am sort of like a big brother to them all. It’s such a beautiful relationship, and I receive so much from them as I try to give them the little that I have.

 

            All in all, though loneliness could be an issue for some men in the priesthood, it need not be. If we have a passionate love of the Lord and a holy love for His people, we will never be without family or intimacy. What a great life this is!