Ordinary Time 19
August 9, 2026
Faith In Desolation
In the
last century, a woman once wrote to her spiritual advisor, “In my soul I feel
just that terrible pain of loss—of God not wanting me—of God not being God—of
God not really existing.” Who was this woman? An unbeliever? A skeptic? No – it
was Mother Teresa, perhaps the holiest woman of the twentieth century. When
these words to her spiritual director were published after her death, many
people came forward and said, “See! She was a hypocrite! She didn’t even
believe in God!” But on the contrary, it showed the depths of her holiness,
because she continued to love God with the darkest, coldest, most raw faith.
There
are times in our spiritual lives where we feel close to God. Maybe it is the
birth of a child, admiring a beautiful work of art, the peace we feel in
Adoration, the beauty of nature. Spiritual writers call this consolation
– the feeling of God’s presence. I hope all of you have experienced consolation
in your spiritual lives – they are favors from the goodness of God.
But most
of us do not live our lives in constant consolation – rather, spiritual writers
such as St. Ignatius of Loyola speak about desolation as well – a
feeling of being distant from God, empty, bored, lacking motivation to pray.
Have you ever felt that as well? I certainly have. And it’s not a bad thing at
all – but we have to understand how to keep our faith in desolation.
Elijah
certainly faced this in our first reading. We have to understand the context of
this small passage. Elijah was the only prophet faithful to the Lord in all of
Israel when most of the nation had begun to worship the false god of Ba’al. The
evil King threatened to kill Elijah for being faithful, so Elijah fled to Mount
Sinai – the very place of the Covenant which Israel had been so unfaithful to.
But Elijah was in dire straits – right before this scene, Elijah actually prays
for death, when he says, “Lord, I’m alone, I’m being hunted down, and no one is
converting at my preaching. Please take my life.” And God tells him to go up
Mount Sinai (also known as Mount Horeb, as in today’s reading) and wait for the
Lord to show up. And He shows up…in a tiny whispering sound, and basically
tells Elijah to get back to work!
It may have been disappointing for Elijah, who
wanted some consolation, something to make himself feel better. Maybe God could
have showed up in the fire, the earthquake, to show the prophet He was with
him. But God didn’t do that. He showed up in silence, didn’t console him, and
told him to be faithful to his task.
And
that’s often how God works – we turn to Him for comfort, and feel only
emptiness. We want relief from our difficult task of caring for our kids or our
parents, but it seems like the burdens keep piling up. We find it a struggle to
pray, as if we’re just going through the motions.
Is He
absent in times of desolation? Not at all. He allows it so that we grow in
holiness, in perseverance, in humility. God wants us to seek Him, and
not just seek good feelings and comfort. Faith is not feelings – even if you
don’t feel close to God, by choosing to remain faithful to Him purifies
and strengthens our faith. It becomes something we choose. Likewise,
when we don’t feel like we want to pray, to do it anyway makes our love
costly…and real. A true friend of Christ is friends with Him when He gives
consolation, but is no less faithful when He chooses to hide Himself.
No saint
is ever made without desolation. Listen to the words of St. Faustina: “A
darkness began to invade my soul, growing thicker and thicker... I found no
consolation in prayer ... Often during the entire Mass, I did nothing but
struggle with [distractions].” A lack of faith? Nope – an opportunity to purify
and strengthen her love for Christ, for now she is loving Him without receiving
anything in return.
In times
of desolation we must do as Peter did – keep his eyes fixed on Jesus Christ.
There was a very priest from Naples who was a contemporary with Padre Pio named
Servant of God Fr. Dolindo Ruotolo who wrote a famous novena (nine days of
prayer) called the Surrender Novena. Daily, he would repeat the prayer, “O
Jesus, I surrender myself to you, take care of everything!” It sums up the
perfect attitude in times of desolation: complete trust and surrender. And Fr.
Dolindo had to live out that trust – he wrote several books that his superiors
criticized unjustly, and for decades they forbade him from writing and
preaching. He was misunderstood, crippled by arthritis and a stroke. It would
have been natural for him to ask God for a sense of His presence and love. But
he continually surrendered everything to God, even a natural desire for God’s
consolation. This complete surrender made his good friend St. Padre Pio say,
“The whole of paradise is in his soul.”
So when
we are tempted to say, in the midst of the storm, “God, are You with us or
not?” – this is the time to persevere. That may mean walking in blind trust.
Our faith is not the same as feelings. God hides His consolation so that we
seek Him with greater fervor, whether we feel close to Him or not. So keep your
eyes fixed on Christ, choose to stay faithful to your prayer life and
striving for virtue even when our motivation is lost. Because the darker your
spiritual life seems here, the brighter will be the vision of God for eternity.
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