Feast of the Holy Family - December 30, 2023

 

Homily for Feast of the Holy Family

December 31, 2023

The Blessing of Children

 

            Perhaps the most beautiful – and maybe the most countercultural – teaching of Christ is His teaching on marriage and family. Rather than being a natural union for convenience, comfort, or pleasure, marriage has been elevated by grace to a supernatural union which mirrors the Trinity and is ordered to the holiness of its members. There are so many elements of marriage and family that we could talk about: faithfulness, self-sacrifice, living as a Domestic Church. But I think our readings highlight one element that is quite timely: the blessing of children.

            In the ancient world – really, all the way up to the modern day – children were always seen as a blessing. For Abraham, children would be a visible sign that God was pleased with him. To have children meant that your name would last long after your death; in a sense making your memory immortal. That’s why he was thrilled with the news that he would finally bear a child.

            Sadly, many in our world see children as a burden, not a blessing. This past year, magazines such as Time and Business Insider ran articles entitled, “There’s no better time to be a DINK” – DINK meaning, “Double Income, No Kids.” These articles talked about how many couples are choosing not to have kids so that they can travel, have disposable income and free time, and just enjoy life free of burdens and living, breathing responsibilities. In fact, a 2022 survey of young adults found that 44% said they were not planning to have children! And I get it – kids are expensive. Recent data from the US Government puts the figure at $310,000 per child, not including college!

            But looking at it through the lens of Christ, children are not just a financial and exhausting drain of resources. Rather, it is a privilege to bring another immortal soul into the world and prepare this soul for everlasting life! Parents have the outrageously awesome honor to assist God in His creative act, as He brings another being into existence. While infertility is a tremendous cross for many couples who may be called to a spiritual fruitfulness in matrimony, it is impossible for a Catholic to be a DINK by choice, as children are one of the purposes why God has blessed us with marriage and sexuality. In fact, openness to life is such an intrinsic part of marriage that a Catholic marriage always includes the question, “Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to Christ and His Church?” If a couple says no, then the marriage is actually invalid!

            This does require trust – and He will bless that trust. One of my favorite lines from the Psalms is, “I have never seen the just man forsaken, or his children begging for bread. All the day long he is generous and lends, and his children become a blessing.” It is true – I have never seen someone who is open to life who is not blessed with enough food and clothing. They may not be able to vacation in Tahiti, but the simple joys of a big family more than make up for that.

            Once children are brought into this world, they must be formed to become saints! We all want success for our kids – usually defined as a good job, a college scholarship, success on the sports field. But the ultimate success is to spend eternity in glory with God. As the French writer Leon Bloy said, “The only real tragedy in life is to not become a saint.” How do parents help their children to do that? Three ways.

            First, by prioritizing God as a family. St. John Vianney said, “Religion must be about us like the air we breathe.” It’s not an occasional Sundays-only thing, but something we live out daily. In fact, the Church teaches that “parents are the primary educators of their children in the ways of faith.” We do this by filling our home with crucifixes and religious books, teaching our kids how to pray, and especially by bringing them to Mass every Sunday without fail. Forgive the bluntness, but if we skip Mass (even once!) because we’re busy taking our kids to sports games or dance recitals, then we are committing the mortal sin of idolatry. Whatever we do instead of going to Sunday Mass is what we worship. Young people will never prioritize Christ if parents teach them, by their actions, that sports or dance or robotics comes first, and parents will have to give an account before Christ if they prioritize any earthly good over their children’s spiritual lives.

            Second, parents need to preserve the innocence of our kids. None of us would invite Hugh Hefner or Howard Stern over for dinner…why would we allow our kids to have an unfiltered smart phone in their hands where they can bring such filth into their bedrooms? If parents give their kids a smartphone, they have a responsibility of putting parental controls on it and monitoring it closely. Connected to this, parents have the duty to make sure their kids have healthy, wholesome friends who will keep them on the right path. Teach your kids to love everyone but be discerning as to who will be a close friend.

            Finally, surround your children with examples of holiness. The lives of the saints can give holy heroes to young people – who isn’t inspired by the great missionaries like St. Francis Xavier who converted thousands in the Far East; or the incredible miracles of St. Padre Pio like bilocation and healings; or those heroic martyrs like St. Maximilian Kolbe. But not only the saints – living examples of holiness are critical. I remember going with my dad to his men’s prayer group, and seeing men that I respected – my coaches, our plumber, my friends’ dads – who loved Jesus and were pursuing Him made a huge impact on me. And of course parents themselves must be the best models of holiness. As Pope St. Paul VI said, “Modern man listens more readily to witnesses than to teachers, and if they listen to teachers, it is first because they are witnesses.”

            Almost every set of parents, though, have kids or grandkids who have strayed from the Faith. Have no fear – your role is not over! Now you must pray and fast for your kids and grandkids. Many people tell me, somewhat dismissively, “Oh, well, they’ll come back. The seeds have been planted.” But statistics are showing that more and more young people are not coming back, so it’s not automatic – and we can help bring back our straying children through prayer, fasting, and radical holiness (mere “ordinary kindness” won’t do – we need a life lived radically for Christ to be a true witness!). Their souls hang in the balance – but at the same time, we must never forget that God loves our children more than we ever could, and He is seeking at every moment to shower them with the grace of conversion and holiness.

            St. Therese of Lisieux said of her parents, “God gave me parents who were more worthy of heaven than of earth.” May the same be said of each of us who are called to the joyful, daring task of parenthood.