Feast of the Holy Family - December 29, 2019

Homily for Feast of the Holy Family

December 29, 2019

            I was once talking to a man who was having trouble with his two teenagers. He sighed to me, “Ah, you can’t live with ‘em; you can’t…sell ‘em on Ebay.”

            Family can be the greatest gift God gave us – and it can also be one of the most challenging. Someone else said to me this Christmas season, “Oh, I love my family…but only in small doses!” 

But our family was given to us to sanctify us. Family life is like taking a bunch of sharp rocks and tumbling them together. Through all the bumping and colliding, the rough edges get rubbed off until they become smooth pebbles. In the same way, in family life, our vices and flaws get smoothed out – if we let them. It’s not an easy process, but it does make us saints!

Let’s look at the Holy Family for an example of how to live in our family.

First, Joseph shows us that a man’s role is to be the spiritual leader of the house. It’s so significant that when God wants to communicate something to the entire Holy Family, He does so through Joseph – in today’s Gospel, we see God telling Joseph to take the family to Egypt, and then back to Israel. Even though Joseph was the only sinful member of the Holy Family (since Mary and Jesus were perfect), God still respected his authority by communicating directly with him about the Lord’s plans for the family.

In the same way, fathers and husbands have a critical role in leading the family’s faith life! A Swiss study from 2000 found that if only the father practices the Faith, the kids have a 38% chance of being a regular churchgoer when they grow up. If only the mother practices the faith, only 3% of kids will attend Mass weekly when they are adults. The study concluded that “It is the religious practice of the father of the family that, above all, determines the future attendance at or absence from church of the children.”

And this makes sense – when I was a little kid, my father was the strongest, greatest person I knew. He was my hero; he was the one I wanted to be just like. And when I saw him kneeling before God, I realized that if my hero needs God, then I do too! If the strongest man I know gets his strength from God, then I need to seek God as well.

Mothers and wives reflect God in a different and complementary way. It says several times in Scripture that “Mary treasured all these things in her heart.” Mary was the loving heart of the family. Her intimacy with God provided a loving heart to the home. The world could be a harsh and unforgiving place; I’m sure that after a long day of working with wood and tools and difficult customers, Joseph would have rejoiced to rest in the loving heart of Mary.

I have often seen this reflected in the unique relationship that men and women have with God. Men are most often inspired to do things for God; women most often seek intimacy with God. Both are needed; both are beautiful! So one beautiful role for the mother is to be that loving heart of the family, reflecting God’s tenderness and beauty.

Finally, children find holiness through obedience. St. Paul is clear in the second reading: “Children, obey your parents in everything.” And we’re all familiar with the Fourth Commandment but have you ever noticed that this commandment is the only one with a promise attached? It reads, “Honor your father and mother that you might have a long life in the land that God is giving you.” Jesus, who was perfect, obeyed His parents. We who are imperfect should obey our parents if we’re under 18, and when we reach adulthood we should always honor and respect them.

Some of us are blessed with excellent parents. St. Therese of Lisieux said, “God gave me parents more worthy of Heaven than of earth.” St. John Vianney said, “I owe a debt to my mother,” he said, and added, “Virtues go easily from mothers into the hearts of their children, who willingly do what they see being done.” But even if we do not have good parents we should still seek to honor them.

Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati was not blessed with holy parents. On the contrary – his father was an atheist and a selfish, materialistic man (he was the founder of the largest newspaper in Italy, and was very wealthy), and his mother was apathetic towards religion. They used to make fun of young Pier, who would walk himself to Mass as young as seven years old. But Pier always respected his parents, even giving up a girlfriend when his parents didn’t approve. Even though he was far holier than his parents, he was constantly respectful and obedient to them.

My friends, family life is not easy, even in the best of families – the Holy Family had their own troubles when the lost the boy Jesus in the Temple! But the Holy Family was still holy – and yours can be too. Men, be the spiritual leaders of your family. Ladies, be the spiritual heart of the family. Kids, obey and respect your parents whom God has given you. He has given your family to you to make you holy!