Homily for Ordinary Time 5

Homily for Ordinary Time 5

February 10, 2019

By God’s Grace, I Am

            Heroin, cocaine, marijuana, LSD, excessive alcohol…all of these had been consumed by Don Calloway before he turned 14. Nightly partying, sexual encounters with girls, and heavy metal music filled his emptiness. Basically Don did not want to have any limits – whatever he wanted, he got. His father, in the military, was stationed in Japan for a while, and Don got involved in Japanese gangs, eventually stealing tens of thousands of dollars worth of merchandise, which resulted in him being deported from the country.

            It got to the point that he was living in a crack house, unemployed, with an arrest sheet…and he got so desperate he wanted to end his life. One night he was at his parents’ house, bored and lonely and hoping his life would end, when he happened to find a book about Medjugorje. Medjugorje is a town in Bosnia where six people have been having visions of the Blessed Mother since the 1980s.

            In these visions, Mary told the youth that peace would only reign in the world if people repented of their sins, abandoned their errors, and turned back to God. She urged prayer and penance, to make reparation for the sins of mankind. Although the Church has not definitively declared if these apparitions are true or not, I personally believe them to be true and I know many people who have experienced miracles at Medjugorje.

            When the young Don Calloway read this book, he was floored. God loves us enough to send His Mother, Mary, to earth to call men back to Him? The only way to peace is through conversion and turning to the Lord? These were radical new ideas for him, and he was struck to the heart. Tears of repentance flowed down his face as he began to turn his life over to the Lord.

            The next day, he went to Mass for the first time. He had never been baptized Catholic, so he soon converted…and discerned a call to the priesthood. He applied to a religious community from Massachusetts, the Marians of the Immaculate Conception (they run the Divine Mercy Shrine). When he applied, the vocations director was shocked by his life story. The priest told him, “You’ve had a past and a half!” He urged him to wait, to see if the conversion was going to “stick”. And stick it did – he is now a priest, Fr. Don Calloway.

            You see, God’s calling has never been about our worthiness. God’s love is a free gift; it’s not given because we are “good people”. Fr. Calloway said that one line in the book which touched him deeply was Mary saying, “You do not have to change to love me – by loving me, I will change you.” Mary isn’t giving us permission to go on sinning; no, she is saying that God’s mercy is present to heal us of our sin.

            All three readings speak of sinful people whom God is calling to a great task. Isaiah, Paul, Peter – all three are weak sinners whom God used powerfully. But notice the common theme in their spiritual journeys. First, God calls them in the midst of their sin. For Isaiah, it was to prophesy to the people of Israel; for Paul it was to be an Apostle to the Gentiles; for Peter it was to serve as the first Pope. Second, they recognize and confess their sinfulness and unworthiness – this task is too much for a sinner like themselves! Third, they receive cleansing and forgiveness from God – Isaiah has his lips purified, Peter receives Jesus’ encouragement that he will be “fishing for men.”

            So, let’s apply this to our own life. First, we have to understand that we are profoundly, passionately loved by God. If you doubt God’s love or struggle to receive it, you can do two things: first, look at the Cross. There, we see just how precious you are to God, for He died, not just for humanity in general, but for you in particular. He thought you were worth it – because you ARE! Not because of anything you have done or earned, but simply because you are His beloved son or daughter. Second, consider all the good things God has given you. Yes, everyone’s life has challenges, but we – especially here in America – are blessed beyond measure. As Scripture states, “Every good and perfect gift comes from above” – so our blessings are signs to us of His love.

            Once we understand how loved we are, then we must acknowledge our sin. He loves us; and we have failed to love Him. We may say, “Oh, well I’m a good person.” But the greatest saints recognized how they have failed to love our infinite and perfect God. St. John Vianney – the patron saint of parish priests who fasted daily, eating nothing but a single potato per day, prayed for hours on end, and spent twelve hours per day hearing Confessions – was once approached by a woman who said, “You are such a good priest to go to Confession to!” The saint responded, “If I am a good confessor, it is because I am a great sinner!” He recognized that even he, as a saint, stood in the need of God’s mercy. As St. Bernard said, “Who is free from defects? A person lacks everything if he thinks he lacks nothing.”

            This is why frequent Confession is so vital to a person advancing in holiness. Consider: sometimes when we have a window in our home, it looks pretty clean, but once the sun shines on it, we see the spots and the streaks, and we realize it’s not as clean as we thought it was. Likewise, a soul that stays in the darkness and never really examines their life usually thinks they’re probably doing pretty well. But when we shine the light of God’s grace and the Church’s teachings on our soul, we see that we, too, stand in need of God’s mercy! I am willing to make a bold claim – if you do not get to Confession at least once every two months, you are not serious about growth in holiness. Confess frequently!

            Finally, once we have understood God’s love and repented of the times we have failed to return His love, then, like Isaiah and Paul and Peter, we follow Jesus. Some of us may be called to serve Him completely as a priest or nun, or others may be called to seek holiness as a married person or a single person. But in our own specific vocations, we must follow Jesus and His teachings wholeheartedly.

            Accept His love, repent of our lack of love, follow Him unreservedly. The Scriptures mark out the clear and unmistakable path to holiness.