Homily for 21st
Sunday in Ordinary Time
August 23, 2015
Complementarity of
Gender
For the
first time in history this October, the pope will canonize (make saints of) a
married couple. Both Louis and Zelie Martin lived lives of such heroic holiness
that the Church will recognize them both as saints. Louis and Zelie lived in
France in the late 1800s, and they lived a simple life of upper-middle-class
workers. Louis was a watchmaker, and Zelie made lace. They had five daughters
who survived infancy, and all five became nuns…in fact, their youngest is
rather famous: St. Therese of Lisieux! But their life, although simple, was
devout – they prayed daily as a family and attended Mass throughout the week;
they read spiritual books and sincerely strove for sanctity. They did nothing
heroic – but through their marital love, they helped each other get to Heaven!
This is
what St. Paul is helping us with today in the second reading. He desires to see
husbands and wives help each other become saints. Yet many people, when they
hear the second reading, think it to be misogynistic – he says, “Wives, be
submissive to your husbands.” Wow! This seems harsh to modern ears.
But let’s
look deeper. What is the husband called to do? “Love his bride as Christ loved
the Church.” And how did Christ love the Church? By dying for her! Jesus shed
every drop of His Blood so that the Church could come to life; likewise, a
husband is called to lay down his life, his wants and desires, his pride and
his strength, in service to his wife. St. Paul is calling on husbands and wives
to practice mutual self-giving love
as the key to a happy and holy marriage!
You see,
in marriage, the role of husband and wife are different – but complementary. We
believe that men and women are created in the image and likeness of God AS men
and women! Men and women are different but equal – they have different roles,
different strengths, they reflect God in different ways – but are equal in the
life of grace.
One of
the major themes of Pope St. John Paul the Great’s Theology of the Body is that the body expresses the person. We see this in everyday life. Just this
past week as we were having (our youth group summer gathering) Mass Mayhem, we
were discussing a difficult line in the Gospels where Jesus says, “The Spirit
gives life, the flesh is of no avail.” One of our boys offered an
interpretation of that line: “Jesus means that it doesn’t matter what we do
with our bodies, so long as our souls are with Him.” The boy sitting next to
him just turned to him with an incredulous look, and said, “So, it doesn’t
matter if I punch you in the face?” Obviously, what we do with our bodies is an
expression of the soul.
This
past week I was at our Catholic summer camp, Camp Veritas. And this principle
was displayed so much, because Camp Veritas is absolutely filled with nuns!
There are nuns everywhere! And all of these nuns have such a joy and a beauty
that radiates from their face. They are smiling and laughing all the time. Why?
Because their souls are at peace; they have a deep, intimate relationship with
Christ – and that radiates forth from their countenance!
So,
because the body expresses the soul, men and women are not merely men and women
on the level of the body, but they are different on the level of the soul, as well. Men and women reflect God’s
image in different ways. Men are in the image of God’s strength, His power, His
ability to come through and defend and protect His people. Women are in the
image of God’s tenderness, His mercy and love, His beauty.
We see
this borne out in daily life. If I were to skin my knee as a little boy, who
would I run to? My mom, of course. She is the image of God’s tenderness and
mercy. (My dad would probably just say, “Cool scar, son! Tough it out!”) But if
there was a burglar in the house, who would I want around me? My dad, of
course. He is the image of God’s strength and power.
Of
course, this isn’t to say that men shouldn’t be merciful or than women shouldn’t
be strong. I’m not saying that – there is certainly overlap. But if a man is
not powerful or strong, we know that something’s wrong with him. If a woman isn’t
tender and kind, we know that something’s wrong with her. These are the ways in
which we were created to image different but complementary aspects of God to
the world.
But a
lot of people may say, “That sounds nice, but that hasn’t been my experience!”
Of course not – because we live in a fallen world! Because of original sin, many
men are now tempted to use that God-given strength and power to dominate and
abuse others, instead of to serve them (which was God’s original plan). Because
of original sin, some women are tempted to seduce and manipulate men with their
beauty, instead of putting their beauty and tenderness at the service of
others. We need to repent of this if we have used our God-given gifts for
selfishness and not self-giving!
We live
in a world in which gender is very confused. Just recently, Target stores
decided that they would no longer have a “boys” section and a “girls” section –
they said that they don’t want to be divisive or intolerant by believing that
boys and girls are created differently. On the other hand, on the social media
website Facebook, when you create a profile you can select one of 49 different
genders. Not sure what the other 47 are…
But this
just expresses the great confusion that our society has about gender. Yet God
created men and women in His image and likeness in different but complementary
ways, equal in dignity and grace but with distinct roles to bring about His
Kingdom on the earth!
In today’s
Gospel we hear the Jews walking away from Jesus because of the difficulty of
His teaching (about the Eucharist). Many people in today’s world want to walk
away from the Church because of this beautiful teaching about the
complementarity of men and women. I pray that we may have the courage to say,
with Simon Peter, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of everlasting
life.”
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