Homily for Ordinary Time 27 - October 3, 2021

 

Homily for October 3, 2021

Twenty-Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time

Marriage: A Match Made In Heaven

 

            Many years ago when I was teaching a group of middle schoolers about the Sacrament of Matrimony, I invited a couple who had been married for more than fifty years to give a presentation about how to have a successful marriage. At the end of the presentation we opened it up for questions, and one precocious seventh-grade boy raised his hand and asked, “Did you ever think about splitting up?”

            There was a great awkwardness as they looked at each other, unsure of how to respond. Finally, reluctantly, the wife said, “Well, yes, there have been days.” To which the man, shocked, replied, “Really? You too?”

            Marriage is very difficult, because it puts two imperfect people together for life. But marriage is also a Sacrament, which means that a husband and wife now receive all the grace necessary to live it well. But what does it mean to live marriage well? Let’s go back to the beginning, to God Who created marriage.

            God created marriage for two purposes: the mutual sanctification of spouses (in other words, to get your spouse to Heaven), and the procreation and education of children (in other words, to get your kids to Heaven). Marriage is not about this world only – we live it in this world, but God gave it to us to direct us to Heaven. Although I hope your marriage is happy here, ultimately its goal is to lead us to the happiness of Heaven. Let’s dive deeper into these two purposes to find out how to live it well.

            The first purpose of marriage is the mutual sanctification of spouses – to make each other saints. If you put two sharp rocks in a tumbler and shook them around for a few weeks, they would come out very smooth, because the rough edges of each rock would wear off the rough edges of the other rock. In the same way, two people in a marriage – both of whom are imperfect, flawed, and have lots of rough edges – end up smoothing each other out. We grow so much in patience, sacrifice, and love because in marriage we are forced to be patience, to sacrifice, and to love. There’s no other option, because we made the vows for life.

            So if you are in a marriage, you can help your spouse get to Heaven in many ways. First, by praying for them – and by praying WITH them. An interesting statistic – currently, about 33% of marriages sadly end in divorce. But if a couple attends church together weekly, the divorce rate is 10%. If a couple attends church together weekly and prays together daily, the divorce rate is only 2%. This is because we need God to be the “glue” that holds a marriage together. By our own strength, we would struggle…by God’s grace, we have strength to overcome our natural human weaknesses with supernatural strength. Besides, a spouse cannot be our primary relationship – our primary relationship must be with God. We all desire total, unconditional love – which can only come from God, not from a spouse. But when a person receives that love from God, then they can approach their marriage, not as a way to desperately receive the love that they’re thirsting for, but to give the love that they have already received from God.

            Second, we can help our spouses get to Heaven by witnessing to them and encouraging them in virtue. There are times when a husband or wife might struggle in faith or in holiness – or perhaps not even be a believer. But that’s when prayer, patience, and sacrifice can win over their spouse. I am reminded of Elizabeth Leseur, a French woman whose cause for canonization (being made a saint) has begun. She was a devout Catholic but married an atheist, who constantly ridiculed and belittled her faith. She suffered a great deal because of her husband Felix’s barbs, and would offer every small sacrifice for his conversion. Tragically, she died young, but when Felix was going through his wife’s belongings, he happened to come upon her journal. He was amazed to read the depths of her faith – and the depth of her prayers and sacrifices for her. He was converted and became a priest, due to her witness and sacrifices.

            The second purpose of marriage is to be fruitful and multiply. In fact, in Genesis, that is God’s first commandment – have children! Again, this is directed to Heaven – we don’t have children just to pass on the family name or leave a legacy, but to help form new souls for Heaven. This gift of children should amaze us to no end – only God can create, but He invites us to be co-creators of new human life! And that new human life has an eternal destiny.

            So how do we get our children to Heaven? By making God the center of our family life. We all like to think that is the case, but do we really prioritize our children’s spiritual lives above all else? Are we willing to miss soccer practice for spiritual events like Mass or religious education? Do we take time out of our busy day to pray together as a family? Have we taught our kids that making money and “being successful” aren’t as important as becoming a saint? Jesus in today’s Gospel embraces these children and tells the Apostles, “Let the little children come to Me” – are we more concerned about our children’s souls than about their success on the sports field or in the classroom?

            When I die, I will have to stand before God and give Him an account of how well I have led you, my parishioners, to Heaven. When a father or mother dies, they will have to give an account of how well they have led their spouse and children to Heaven. Blessed will that person be who has cared more about their holiness than about their worldly happiness!

            A brief word to those in different situations: I know that some here have gone through the pain of divorce, or have lost their spouse, or are unable to marry for whatever reason. These can be difficult crosses to bear. Please know that the Lord loves you in the midst of whatever pain and loneliness you may be enduring – and your life can have great fruitfulness in many ways, even without the Sacrament of Matrimony.

            I want to close with a great story of a couple who saw their marriage as a preparation for Heaven: Saints Timothy and Maura. They lived during the persecutions of the Roman emperor Diocletian in the early 300s. Both were devout Catholics, and after their marriage, they began to secretly help the Church by storing the scrolls of the Scriptures that would be read at Mass. It was against the law to build a church, so the vessels and vestments and books had to be stored in people’s private homes. But this was a crime punishable by death. Sadly, after only 20 days of marriage, Timothy was arrested for being a Christian and was told to surrender the holy books, which were hidden. He refused, and his captors said, “Don’t you see the instruments we have for torturing you?” To which Timothy responded, “Don’t you see the angels strengthening me?”

            So his captors pulled the ultimate weapon – they captured his wife Maura and threatened to torture her if Timothy did not relent. But heroically, Maura replied, “Timothy, I will never speak to you again if you deny Christ.” They tortured her, but she refused to budge. Finally, the captors crucified both of them on crosses facing each other – and as they hung there, they sang hymns together, encouraged one another, and prayed together. They finally died, but their death was so holy that their captor eventually converted to Christianity and was martyred himself.

            May all of our marriages be so focused around Christ that they inspire the whole world to desire Heaven!

           

 

Homily for Ordinary Time 25 - September 19, 2021

 

Homily for September 19, 2021

Twenty-Fifth Sunday of Ordinary Time

Pride & Humility

 

            Do you know how the devil became the devil? God did not create him evil. Rather, according to Scripture, the devil was created as one of the most beautiful angels. His name was Lucifer, which means the “light-bearer”, testifying to his glory and majesty. Before the angels were admitted to the Heavenly Realm, however, they were given a test. God revealed His plan to them – He showed them that He would take on flesh and be born a human being, to suffer and die for mankind. To Lucifer, this humility of God was too much. How could he, one of the most luminous angels, bow down and worship a God who became man? A God who would be hungry and thirsty, who would have to go to the bathroom, who would get killed?

            So Lucifer rebelled. His ancient battle cry was “Non Serviam” – I will not serve! He took a third of the angels with him in the rebellion, and after being cast out of Heaven, seeks to take his revenge on the ones God loves the most – you and I. Because we are in the image and likeness of God, Lucifer (now called Satan, which means “The Accuser”), hates us and seeks our eternal destruction.

            In a word, it was pride that caused the angels to fall. They thought it was beneath their dignity to worship a God Who became man!

            But pride is not only an angelic problem – it is a problem for us humans, as we see clearly displayed in today’s Gospel. And, in a sense, it is natural to want to be the best at what we do. We want to excel in school, at work, on the sports field, even in the spiritual life. It is natural to “take pride” in our accomplishments. But pride becomes a vice when we begin thinking that our accomplishments are all about us – boosts for the ego. How easily we can think we are better than others, or even better than God!

            The antidote to this vice of pride is humility. Today I want to speak of humility in our relationship with God, and humility in our relationships with others.

            First, with God. When the Titanic was being launched, an employee of the ocean liner was questioned about safety precautions on-board, and he famously replied, “Even God Himself couldn’t sink this ship.” Of course, we know the rest of the story. But this pride in thinking that we are above God runs very deep in the human heart. Last year during the pandemic, when the cases began to decline, a Governor (who shall remain nameless) famously declared on national TV, “God did not do this. We did this; science did this.” Pride says that humanity can forge their own path through life; that science and technology will solve all of life’s problems; that we are “master of our own fate, captains of our own soul” (as the famous poem says). But this pride towards God is deadly, because it isn’t based in reality.

The Catholic summer camp I help at, Camp Veritas, has a motto: “There is a God, and I am not Him!” Humility recognizes that we are not in charge…of literally anything. Our next breath is a gift from God. We cannot even control our own heartbeat – if He decides our time is up, we are powerless to resist. Everything we have and everything we are is only a gift from Him – and so humility requires us to live our life in complete and total dependence upon God. This looks like two things.

            First, we must pray like our life depended on it…because it does! Many times we act like we only need God when something goes wrong: “Oh, I pray when Grandma gets sick…I pray when I need help in my marriage or on a test…but otherwise I don’t really think of Him.” But we desperately need His grace at every moment. It’s all a gift from Him, so a humble prayer thanks Him for everything, from the roof over our heads to the breath in our lungs…to even the crosses and sufferings we must carry in our daily life.

            Second, we must humbly conform our lives to His. Every now and then I get a request at a funeral to play Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” – “I did it MY way” – but in reality we should be doing things HIS way! We follow His Commandments and His teachings through the Church, because humility recognizes that His ways are better than ours.

            This humility before God should lead to humility with others. In 1979 in Oslo, Norway, Mother Teresa was being honored with the Nobel Peace Prize. The problem was…no one could find the diminutive nun…she had gone missing a half-hour before the ceremony! They searched all over the entire convention hall, and finally with only a few minutes to spare, someone found her in a small closet, repeating over and over again the words, “Humility…humility…humility.” She did not want this award to tempt her to think she was greater than others!

            Every human being is loved by God with the exact same love. We may have different bank accounts, different homes, different jobs, but Jesus died for you just like He died for Jeff Bezos and the homeless guy in Bridgeport. From the divine perspective, every human being has equal dignity and worth – in fact, some of the people we look down upon may have a much greater crown of glory in Heaven!

            We should never look to others to see if we’re better or worse than them. Rather, humility only considers who we are before God, and nothing more. We are profoundly loved, sinners redeemed by grace, sons and daughters of the Lord.

            To grow in humility with others, we should follow the example of CS Lewis who said, “Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself – it is thinking of yourself less.” Speak less about your accomplishments (and your problems!). Do menial tasks like taking out the garbage and cleaning your own bathroom. Thank others who have helped you along the way. Recognize that any accomplishment, gift, or talent you have is only because the Lord is generous and merciful to you.

            Humility is the core virtue of the spiritual life, because it makes us most like God, Who humbled Himself to be born into poverty so that He could die, rejected on a Cross. As St. Padre Pio said, “Humility and purity are the wings which carry us to God and make us almost divine.”

Homily for Ordinary Time 24 - September 12, 2021

 

Homily for September 12, 2021

Twenty-Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time

No Shortcuts to Heaven

 

            We all like shortcuts to achieving our goals. You may see ads or headlines that read, “Three easy steps to becoming a millionaire!” or “Eat this one food and lose twenty pounds!” or “Here’s the secret to looking young forever!” We all want that one shortcut that is going to keep us healthy, or help us earn lots of money, or keep our brains active in our senior years.

            But the truth is, there is no shortcut to real fulfillment. Having good health doesn’t require “three easy steps” – it requires us to eat right and work out, both of which are not always easy. Making money isn’t easy – it requires working hard, saving, and using our money wisely. There are no “quick tips” to a happy marriage – it requires the daily sacrifice, love, and faithfulness from two persons. The world wants to make things easy, convenient, pleasant – but true fulfillment comes from sacrifice, discipline, self-denial.

            Hence Jesus’ admonition to Peter: “You are thinking, not as God does, but as human beings do!” Peter wanted salvation without the Cross – he wanted Jesus to find an easy, convenient, three-step shortcut to saving the world. But Jesus says no – He would have to take the long, difficult, painful road to the Cross – and in doing so, He shows us where our salvation lies.

            Pope Benedict XVI once said, “The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort, you were made for greatness!” Not just greatness in the worldly sense, but to be truly free, joyful, authentic, virtuous, intimately united to the Lord – and all of this demands nothing less than the Cross.

            This is the paradox: truly living for Christ means the Cross, but it is also the way to authentic fulfillment and happiness. Consider: which is easier, to watch TV or to pray? But which one leads to greater joy? Is it easier to sleep in, or go to Mass? And yet don’t we always walk out of Mass and think, “Yeah, that was good, I’m glad I went!”? It’s easier to get a dog than to be generous with God and have another child, but which one leads to more fulfillment? It’s easier to hold a grudge than to forgive, but which one sets us free? It’s easier to sleep with your boyfriend or girlfriend rather than waiting for marriage, but which one leads to more joy on the wedding night? It’s more pleasant to go on a costly vacation than to give to the poor, but which one brings us the joy of a clean conscience?

            I truly believe that the main reason why people, especially young people, stop attending Mass and following the Lord isn’t because they have an intellectual objection to the Faith. Rather, they leave because being a disciple is difficult, challenging, costly. It’s just plain easier and more pleasant to sleep in on Sunday, live selfishly, indulge every desire for alcohol and fun and sex. And I will not lie to you – following Christ demands nothing less than the Cross. As GK Chesterton said, “It isn’t that the Christian ideal has been tried and found wanting. Rather, it has been found difficult, and left untried.”

            But the Christian ideal is also the only thing that truly fulfills us. Just last weekend I spoke with a young man who said that since he had returned to the Lord, he was happier than he had been since his childhood – even though he had to give up a lot of sins and addictions. He who loses his life for Christ, will find it.

            A beautiful example of this is Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati. He was born into a wealthy, influential family in Turin, Italy in 1901. His father was the editor of the largest newspaper in Italy – and he was an atheist. His mother only went to church twice per year. But from his youngest days, Pier was drawn to God, and would often stop into churches to pray and walk himself to Mass. His relationship with the Lord Jesus had practical, difficult consequences. Often he would be walking outside on a cold winter’s day and find a poor man who was freezing, and young Pier would give his coat to him. Upon returning home, his mother would be furious that he had lost his coat, and Pier would never tell her where it went. As a teen, he began to skip out on family vacations to instead serve the poor of Turin, using his own generous allowance to buy them medicine and food. His family began to think that he was crazy for not living the lavish lifestyle they were accustomed to, but Pier received greater joy from simplicity and generosity than they had from posh living. Due to his work with the sick and poor, Pier caught polio when he was only 24 years old – but faced this cross with joy, trying to hide his physical weakness from his family so that they wouldn’t worry about him. His family, for their part, still thought he was just plain crazy for being so super-religious. It was only after his death from polio that they glimpsed his holiness – at his funeral, over 2,000 people attended, mostly the poor who had been helped by Pier’s generosity. Although he could have lived a wealthy, relaxing life, he knew that discipleship demanded so much more – and he gave away the wealth, the vacations, and even lost his family’s respect because of Christ. And yet he is now numbered among the saints!

            There are no shortcuts to Heaven. There is no easy way to become a saint. Rather, we must daily take up our Cross, conform our lives to Him, and in doing so, we will find a richer, more fulfilling life both here and in the life to come, better than any of the empty pleasures that the world can offer.