Feast of the Holy
Family
December 27, 2015
Respect For Elders
The
patrons at the restaurant hardly noticed the younger man walk in, but it was
hard to ignore the older man who was with him. He walked with a shuffle that
denoted age and arthritis. They sat down at a table for two. Throughout the
meal, the older man needed help cutting his food, continuously dropped bites
onto his tie and his dress shirt, but the younger man patiently helped him and
wiped his mouth when his fork missed its mark.
After
watching this for some time, the waiter came up to the younger man and
remarked, “I find it so inspiring that you are helping your father like that.”
The
younger man shrugged and said, “It’s no different than what he did for me. He
cut my food, cleaned my messes, and was patient with me.” Well put!
On this
Feast of the Holy Family, I would like to reflect on the Fourth Commandment. We’re
all familiar with it – but how is it lived out?
First,
let’s look at what it says: “Honor your father and your mother.” We’re all
familiar with that part, but in the Scriptures, that commandment has a second
part as well: “…so that you may have a long life in the land the Lord your God
is giving you.” This is the only commandment with a promise! God has promised
that he who honors his parents will be abundantly blessed. It’s also important
to realize that this commandment comes directly after the ones which deal with
God. It’s as if saying, “After God, the persons we owe the most love and
respect to is our parents.”
Honoring
your parents looks differently based upon what your state in life is. If you
are under 18 years old, honoring your parents means obeying them. We don’t
often talk about obedience – but it is a hugely important virtue! When we are
young, disobeying our parents is akin to disobeying God, since God put our
parents over us as His representatives. So, young people, when your parents
tell you to turn off the X-box, do so! I’ll bet if Jesus Himself told you to do
something, you’d do it without question. Well, our parents have been given to
us to take the place of Jesus – so obey them without temper tantrums and
trouble!
Also,
consider today’s Gospel. If Jesus – who was the perfect Son of God – could obey His human parents, how much more
should we obey ours!
Of
course, we do not need to obey our parents if they tell us to do something
sinful or forbid us from following God. I know a teen whose parents refused to
take him to Mass, so he walked there instead. Our obedience is to God first –
parents second.
When we
leave the house as an adult, we do not owe our parents obedience – but we do
owe them respect. That means we ask their opinions and listen to their advice,
we speak kindly to them, we help them in their needs. This is especially true
as our population continues to grow older – stats show that by the year 2050,
about 20% of our American population will be elderly, while a hundred years ago
it was only 4% of our population! It is our responsibility, as far as we are
able, to take care of our parents in their hour of need.
I
remember when I was in college, I went with some college friends to visit a nursing
home one time. We had a nice visit with the residents, and as we were leaving,
I noticed a woman beaming a bright smile. I asked her why she was so joyful,
and she explained to me that one of the other students volunteered to visit her
on a regular basis. She said, “I’m so happy! I’m finally not alone!”
It broke
my heart to hear that, but it was very telling. Why are so many people lonely
in nursing homes? Because we don’t visit our own family members. This is part
of honoring our fathers and mothers – to take care of them in their time of
need.
For
those whose parents have passed on, we can still honor them! Visiting their
graves, having Masses offered for their intentions, and praying for them are
ways in which we can honor them.
In
addition to our parents, we also need to respect all of our elderly family
members. We live in a culture that worships youth – over the course of a
lifetime, the average American spends over $15,000 on beauty products to make
us look younger. All the time, we see ads – “this diet will take ten years off
your age!” But there is a great gift in our elders – they are living histories,
full of wisdom to pass along to us.
After
all, Jesus – who knew everything – chose to learn from and obey His parents and
the elders in the Temple. If it’s good enough for Him, it’s good enough for us!